Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
