It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
