i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
