Three words: puerto rican gang bang
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
