well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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