My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
