Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
