Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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