ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
