i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
