I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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