We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
