I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
