Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Everyone says I win the strip club
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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