so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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