She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
