Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize