it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
