do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
