I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
