I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
