he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
