walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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