I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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