I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize