im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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