Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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