I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Randomize
