Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We got so high we made milksteak
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
