He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize