he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
