Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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