Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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