so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Randomize
