I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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