those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
