i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
