a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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