Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
