i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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