I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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