I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The adults are the big ones right?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
