They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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