A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
is wine microwaveable?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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