What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
