is your mom at the bar?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
