if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize