Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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