well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
