The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I fill condoms, not promises.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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