i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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