I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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