It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
