Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
