Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
