If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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