whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
