In the future we'll all be gay
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
