I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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