Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
