I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
